The Twilight Saga 2: New Moon Chapter 16 PARIS

AT THAT MOMENT, MY HEAD BROKE THE SURFACE.How disorienting. Id been sure I was sinking.The menstruation wouldnt let up. It was slamming me against more rocks they beat against the center of my spinal column sharply, rhythmically, pushing the piss from my lungs. It gushed emerge in amazing volume, absolute torrents pouring from my m sur compositors caseh and nose. The salt burned-out and my lungs burned and my throat was withal full of water to catch a intimation and the rocks were hurting my profoundst nonpargonil. aroundways I hang wizard(a)d in maven place, though the waves lock heaved around me. I couldnt see anything wickedly water eitherwhere, reaching for my calculate.Breathe a voice, wild with anxiety, ordered, and I felt a cruel stab of bruise wher I recognized the voicebecause it wasnt Edwards.I could non obey. The waterfall pouring from my mouth didnt stop long copious for me to catch a breath. The black, icy water filled my chest, burning.The rock sm acked into my stand again, serious between my elevate blades, and another volley of water choked its way out of my lungs.Breathe, Bella Cmon Jacob begged.Black spots bloomed crosswise my vision, cast polish upting wider and wider, blocking out the light.The rock s truck me again.The rock wasnt cutting desire the water it was hot on my skin. I realized it was Jacobs gain, essay to beat the water from my lungs. The iron bar that had dragged me from the sea was also vegetable marrowily My toss whirled, the black spots covered everythingWas I dying again, then? I didnt like itthis wasnt as good as the last time. It was only dusky aright away, nothing worth checking at here. The undecomposed of the crashing waves faded into the black and became a quiet, even whoosh that sounded like it was coming from the inside of my earsBella? Jacob asked, his voice quiet down tense, precisely not as wild as out front. Bells, honey, can you hear me?The contents of my encephalon s wished and rolling sickeningly, like theyd joined the rough waterHow long has she been unconscious? someone else asked.The voice that was not Jacobs reconcile aback me, jarred me into a more focused awareness.I realized that I was still. in that respect was no tug of the current on methe heaving was inside my head. The surface under me was flat and motionless. It felt g rainy against my uncover arms.I dont k outright, Jacob reported, still frantic. His voice was very close. Handsso warm they had to be hisbrushed stringent h glory from my cheeks. A few transactions? It didnt take long to tow her to the beach.The quiet whooshing inside my ears was not the wavesit was the air moving in and out of my lungs again. Each breath burnedthe passageways were as raw as if Id scrubbed them out with steel wool. merely I was breathing.And I was freezing. A thousand sharp, icy beads were striking my face and arms, making the cold worse.Shes breathing. Shell be intimate around. We should get her out of the cold, though. I dont like the colour in shes rescinding I recognized surface-to-air missiles voice this time.You hold its okey to move her?She didnt hurt her back or anything when she fell?I dont know.They hesitated.I tried to rude my eyeball. It to a faultk me a minute, simply then I could see the dark, purple clouds, flinging the freezing rain down at me. Jake? I croaked.Jacobs face blocked out the sky. Oh he gasped, relief washing over his features. His eyes were wet from the rain. Oh, Bella Are you okay? Can you hear me? Do you hurt anywhere?J-Just m-my throat, I stuttered, my lips quivering from the cold.Lets get you out of here, then, Jacob said. He slid his arms under me and lifted me without effortlike picking up an empty box. His chest was bare and warm he hunched his shoulders to keep the rain eat up of me. My head lolled over his arm. I stared vacantly back toward the furious water, beating the sand behindhim.You got her? I heard Sam ask.Yeah, Ill take it from here. Get back to the hospital. Ill join you later. Thanks, Sam.My head was still rolling. None of his words sunk in at first. Sam didnt answer. there was no sound, and I wondered if he were already gone.The water licked and writhed up the sand afterwardwards us as Jacob carried me away, like it was angry that Id escaped. As I stared wearily, a spark of color caught my unfocused eyesa small flash of fire was dancing on the black water, far out in the bay. The prototype made no sense, and I wondered how conscious I genuinely was. My head swirled with the memory of the black, churning waterof universe so lost that I couldnt find up or down. So lost but somehow JacobHow did you find me? I rasped.I was searching for you, he told me. He was half-jogging through the rain, up the beach toward the road. I followed the tire tracks to your truck, and then I heard you scream He quakeed. Why would you jump, Bella? Didnt you notice that its turning into a hurricane out h ere? Couldnt you bring in waited for me? Anger filled his tone as the relief faded.Sorry, I muttered. It was stupid.Yeah, it was sincerely stupid, he agreed, drops of rain shiver free of his hair as he nodded. Look, do you mind redemptive the stupid stuff for when Im around? I wont be able to concentrate if I think youre saltation take away cliffs behind my back.Sure, I agreed. No problem. I sounded like a chain-smoker. I tried to sack my throatand then winced the throat-clearing felt like stabbing a knife down in that respect. What happened today? Did you find her? It was my turn to shudder, though I wasnt so cold here, right coterminous to his ridiculous form heat.Jacob shook his head. He was still more running than walking as he headed up the road to his house. No. She took off into the waterthe bloodsuckers have the advantage there. Thats why I raced homeI was afraid she was going to double back swimming. You spend so much time on the beach He trailed off, a catch in his throat.Sam came back with you is everyone else home, too? I hoped they werent still out searching for her.Yeah. Sort of.I tried to read his expression, pull a face into the hammering rain. His eyes were clenched with worry or pain.The words that hadnt made sense before all at once did. You said hospital. Before, to Sam. Is someone hurt? Did she fight you? My voice jumped up an octave, sounding strange with the hoarseness.No, no. When we got back, Em was waiting with the news. Its Harry Clearwater. Harry had a heart attack this morning.Harry? I shook my head, trying to absorb what he was staying. Oh, no Does Charlie know?Yeah. Hes over there, too, with my dad.Is Harry going to be okay?Jacobs eyes tightened again. It doesnt looking so great right now.Abruptly, I felt really sick with guiltfelt truly fearful round the brainless cliff dive. Nobody needed to be worrying more or less me right now. What a stupid time to be reckless.What can I do? I asked.At that moment the rain stopped. I hadnt realized we were already back to Jacobs house until he walked through the doorway. The storm pounded against the roof.You can stay here, Jacob said as he dumped me on the short couch. I mean itright here Ill get you some dry clothes.I let my eyes adjust to the dark room while Jacob banged around in his bedroom. The cramped bet room seemed so empty without Billy, almost desolate. It was strangely ominousprobably just because I knew where he was.Jacob was back in seconds. He threw a pile of gray cotton at me. These will be huge on you, but its the best Ive got. Ill, er, step outside so you can change.Dont go anywhere. Im too tired to move yet. Just stay with me.Jacob sat on the floor future(a) to me, his back against the couch. I wondered when hed slept last. He looked as exhausted as I felt.He leaned his head on the cushion next to tap and yawned. Guess I could rest for a minuteHis eyes closed. I let mine slide shut, too.Poor Harry. Poor Sue. I knew Charlie was g oing to be beside himself. Harry was one of his best booster doses. condescension Jakes negative take on things, I hoped fervently that Harry would pull through. For Charlies sake. For Sues and Leahs and SethsBillys sofa was right next to the radiator, and I was warm now, despite my soaked clothes. My lungs ached in a way that pushed me toward unconsciousness rather than property me awake. I wondered vaguely if it was harm to sleep or was I getting drowning mixed up with concussions ? Jacob began piano snoring, and the sound of it soothed like a lullaby. I fell asleep quickly.For the first time in a very long time, my dream was just a normal dream. Just a blurred peregrine through old memoriesblinding bright visions of the Phoenix sun, my mothers face, a ramshackle tree house, a faded quilt, a wall of mirrors, a flame on the black water I forgot each of them as short as the picture changed.The last picture was the only one that stuck in my head. It was meaninglessjust a set o n a stage. A balcony at night, a painted moon hanging in the sky. I watched the misfire in her nightdress lean on the railing and talk to herself.Meaningless but when I easy struggled back to consciousness, Juliet was on my mind.Jacob was still asleep hed slumped down to the floor and his breathing was inscrutable and even. The house was darker now than before, it was black outside the window. I was stiff, but warm and almost dry. The inside of my throat burned with every breath I took.I was going to have to get upat least to get a drink. except my body just wanted tc he here limp, to never move again.Instead of moving, I thought near Juliet some more.I wondered what she would have done if Romeo had left her, not because he was banished, but because he lost interests What if Rosalind had given him the time of day, and hed changed his mind? What if, instead of marrying Juliet, hed just disappeared?I thought I knew how Juliet would feel.She wouldnt go back to her old life, not re ally. She wouldnt ever have moved on, I was sure of that. steady if shed lived until she was old and gray, every time she closed her eyes, it would have been Romeos face she saw behind her lids. She would have authorized that, eventually.I wondered if she would have married Paris in the end, just to please her parents, to keep the peace. No, probably not, I decided. But then, the story didnt say much most Paris. He was just a stick figurea placeholder, a threat, a deadline to force her hand.What if there were more to Paris?What if Paris had been Juliets friend? Her very best friend? What if he was the only one she could confide in about the whole devastating thing with Romeo? The one person who really understood her and made her feel halfway human again? What if he was tolerant and kind? What if he took care of her? What if Juliet knew she couldnt survive without him? What if he really loved her, and wanted her to be quick-witted?And what if she loved Paris? Not like Romeo. Not hing like that, of course. But profuse that she wanted him to be happy, too?Jacobs slow, deep breathing was the only sound in the roomlike a lullaby hummed to a child, like thewhisper of a rocking chair, like the ticking of an old clock when you had nowhere you needed to goIt was the sound of comfort.If Romeo was really gone, never coming back, would it have mattered whether or not Juliet had taken Paris up on his commotion? Maybe she should have tried to settle into the leftover scraps of life that were left behind. Maybe that would have been as close to happiness as she could get.I sighed, and then groaned when the sigh scraped my throat. I was reading too much into the story. Romeo wouldnt change his mind. Thats why people still remembered his name, always twined with hers Romeo and Juliet. Thats why it was a good story. Juliet gets dumped and ends up with Paris would have never been a hit.I closed my eyes and drifted again, letting my mind disgorge away from the stupid play I didnt want to think about anymore. I thought about reality insteadabout jumping off the cliff and what a brainless mistake that had been. And not just the cliff, but the motorcycles and the whole irresponsible Evel Knievel bit. What if something bad happened to me? What would that do to Charlie? Harrys heart attack had pushed everything suddenly into perspective for me. Perspective that I didnt want to see, becauseif I admitted to the truth of itit would mean that I would have to change my ways. Could I live like that?Maybe. It wouldnt be easy in fact, it would be downright miserable to give up my hallucinations and try to be a grown-up. But maybe I should do it. And maybe I could. If I had Jacob.I couldnt ramp up that decision right now. It hurt too much. Id think about something else.Images from my ill-considered afternoon stunt involute through my head while I tried to come up with something pleasant to think about the feel of the air as I fell, the blackness of the water, the thrashing of the current Edwards face I lingered there for a long time. Jacobs warm hands, trying to beat life back into me the stinging rain flung down by the purple clouds the strange fire on the wavesThere was something familiar about that flash of color on top of the water. Of course it couldnt really be fireMy thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a car squelching through the mud on the road outside. I heard it stop in front of the house, and doors started opening and closing. I thought about sitting up, and then decided against that idea.Billys voice was easily identifiable, but he kept it uncharacteristically low, so that it was only a gravelly grumble.The door opened, and the light flicked on. I blinked, momentarily blind. Jake startled awake, gasping and jumping to his feet.Sorry, Billy grunted. Did we wake you?My eyes slowly focused on his face, and then, as I could read his expression, they filled with tears.Oh, no, Billy I moaned.He nodded slowly, his expression har d with grief. Jake hurried to his set about and took one of his hands. The pain made his face suddenly childlikeit looked odd on top of the mans body.Sam was right behind Billy, pushing his chair through the door. His normal composure was absent from his agonized face.Im so sorry, I whispered.Billy nodded. Its gonna be hard all around.Wheres Charlie?Your dad is still at the hospital with Sue. There are a lot of arrangements to be made. I swallowed hard.Id better get back there, Sam mumbled, and he ducked in haste out the door.Billy pulled his hand away from Jacob, and then he rolled himself through the kitchen toward his room.Jake stared after him for a minute, then came to sit on the floor beside me again. He put his face in his hands. I rubbed his shoulder, deprivation I could think of anything to say. by and by a long moment, Jacob caught my hand and held it to his face.How are you feeling? Are you okay? I probably should have taken you to a doctor or something. He sighed.Dont worry about me, I croaked.He twisted his head to look at me. His eyes were rimmed in red. You dont look so good.I dont feel so good, either, I guess.Ill go get your truck and then take you homeyou probably ought to be there when Charlie gets back.Right.I lay listlessly on the sofa while I waited for him. Billy was silent in the other room. I felt like a peeping torn, peering through the cracks at a private sorrow that wasnt mine.It didnt take Jake long. The roar of my trucks engine broke the silence before I expected it. He helped me up from the couch without speaking, keeping his arm around my shoulder when the cold air outside made me shiver. He took the drivers seat without asking, and then pulled me next to his side to keep his arm tight around me. I leaned my head against his chest.How will you get home? I asked.Im not going home. We still havent caught the bloodsucker, remember?My next shudder had nothing to do with cold.It was a quiet ride after that. The cold air had woken me up. My mind was alert, and it was working very hard and very fast.What if? What was the right thing to do?I couldnt imagine my life without Jacob nowI cringed away from the idea of even trying to imagine that. Somehow, hed become essential to my survival. But to leave things the way they were was that cruel, as Mike had accused?I remembered wishing that Jacob were my brother. I realized now that all I really wanted was a claim onhim. It didnt feel brotherly when he held me like this. It just felt nicewarm and comforting and familiar. Safe. Jacob was a safe harbor.I could stake a claim. I had that much within my power.Id have to tell him everything, I knew that. It was the only way to be fair. Id have to beg off it right, so that hed know I wasnt settling, that he was much too good for me. He already knew I was broken, that part wouldnt surprise him, but hed need to know the extent of it. Id even have to admit that I was crazyexplain about the voices I heard. Hed need to know eve rything before he made a decision.But, even as I recognized that necessity, I knew he would take me in spite of it all. He wouldnt even sunder up to think it through.I would have to commit to thiscommit as much of me as there was left, every one of the broken pieces. It was the only way to be fair to him. Would I? Could I?Would it be so wrong to try to make Jacob happy? Even if the love I felt for him was no more than a weak echo of what I was capable of, even if my heart was far away, wandering and grieving after my fickle Romeo, would it be so very wrong?Jacob stopped the truck in front of my dark house, cutting the engine so it was suddenly silent. Like so many other times, he seemed to be in tune with my thoughts now.He threw his other arm around me, crushing me against his cheat, binding me to him. Again, this felt nice. intimately like being a whole person again.I thought he would be persuasion of Harry, but then he spoke, and his tone was apologetic. Sorry. I know you dont feel exactly the way I do, Bella. I swear I dont mind. Im just so glad youre okay that I could singand thats something no one wants to hear. He laughed his throaty laugh in my ear.My breathing kicked up a notch, sanding the walls of my throat.Wouldnt Edward, indifferent as he might be, want me to be as happy as possible under the circumstances? Wouldnt enough friendly emotion linger for him to want that much for me? I thought he would. He wouldnt envy me this giving just a small bit of love he didnt want to my friend Jacob. After all, it wasnt the same love at all.Jake pressed his warm cheek against the top of my hair.If I turned my face to the sideif I pressed my lips against his bare shoulder I knew without any doubt what would follow. It would be very easy. There would be no need for explanations tonight.But could I do it? Could I betray my absent heart to save my pathetic life?Butterflies assaulted my stomach as I thought of turning my head.And then, as understandably as if I w ere in immediate danger, Edwards velvet voice whispered in my ear.Be happy, he told me.I froze.Jacob felt me stiffen and released me automatically, reaching for the door.Wait, I wanted to say. Just a minute. But I was still locked in place, listening to the echo of Edwardsvoice in my head.Storm-cooled air blew through the cab of the truck.OH The breath whooshed out of Jacob like someone had punched him in the gut. Holy crapHe slammed the door and twisted the keys in the ignition at the same moment. His hands were shaking so hard I didnt know how he managed it.Whats wrong?He revved the engine too fast it sputtered and faltered.Vampire, he spit out.The blood rushed from my head and left me dizzy. How do you know?Because I can smell it. DammitJacobs eyes were wild, raking the dark street. He barely seemed aware of the tremors that were rolling through his body. Phase or get her out of here? he hissed at himself.He looked down at me for a split second, taking in my horror-struck eyes an d vacuous face, and then he was scanning the street again. Right. Get you out.The engine caught with a roar. The tires squealed as he spun the truck around, turning toward our only escape. The headlights washed across the pavement, lit the front line of the black forest, and finally glinted off a car parked across the street from my house.Stop I gasped.It was a black cara car I knew. I might be the furthest thing from an autophile, but I could tell you everything about that particular car. It was a Mercedes S55 AMG. I knew the horsepower and the color of the interior. I knew the feel of the powerful engine purring through the frame. I knew the rich smell of the leather seats and the way the extra-dark tint made noon look like dusk through those windows.It was Carlisles car.Stop I cried again, louder this time, because Jacob was gunning the truck down the street.What?Its not Victoria. Stop, stop I want to go back.He stomped on the brake so hard I had to catch myself against the dash board.What? he asked again, aghast. He stared at me with horror in his eyes.Its Carlisles car Its the Cullens. I know it.He watched dawn break across my face, and a violent tremor rocked his frame.Hey, calm down, Jake. Its okay. No danger, see? Relax.Yeah, calm, he panted, putting his head down and closing his eyes. While he concentrated on not exploding into a wolf, I stared out the back window at the black car.It was just Carlisle, I told myself. Dont expect anything more. Maybe Esme Stop right there, I told myself. Just Carlisle. That was plenty. More than Id ever hoped to have again.Theres a vampire in your house, Jacob hissed. And you want to go back?I glanced at him, ripping my unwilling eyes off the Mercedesterrified that it would disappear the second I looked away.Of course, I said, my voice blank with surprise at his question. Of course I wanted to go back.Jacobs face hardened while I stared at him, congealing into the bitter mask that Id thought was gone for good. Just bef ore he had the mask in place, I caught the spasm of betrayal that flashed in his eyes. His hands were still shaking. He looked ten years older than me.He took a deep breath. Youre sure its not a conjury? he asked in a slow, heavy voice.Its not a trick. Its Carlisle. fruit me backA shudder rippled through his wide shoulders, but his eyes were flat and emotionless. No.Jake, its okayNo. Take yourself back, Bella. His voice was a slapI flinched as the sound of it struck me. His jaw clenched and unclenched.Look, Bella, he said in the same hard voice. I cant go back. Treaty or no treaty, thats my enemy in there.Its not like thatI have to tell Sam right away. This changes things. We cant be caught on their territory.Jake, its not a warHe didnt listen. He put the truck in neutral and jumped out the door, leaving it running.Bye, Bella, he called back over his shoulder. I really hope you dont die. He sprinted into the darkness, shaking so hard that his exercise seemed blurred he disappeare d before I could open my mouth to call him back.Remorse pinned me against the seat for one long second. What had I just done to Jacob?But remorse couldnt hold me very long.I slid across the seat and put the truck back in drive. My hands were shaking almost as hard as Jakes had been, and this took a minute of concentration. Then I carefully turned the truck around and covey it back to my house.It was very dark when I turned off the headlights. Charlie had left in such a hurry that hed forgotten to leave the porch lamp on. I felt a pang of doubt, staring at the house, deep in shadow. What if it was a trick?I looked back at the black car, almost invisible in the night. No. I knew that car.Still, my hands were shaking even worse than before as I reached for the key above the door. When Igrabbed the doorknob to unlock it, it twisted easily under my hand. I let the door fall open. The hallway was black.I wanted to call out a greeting, but my throat was too dry. I couldnt quite seem to ca tch my breath.I took a step inside and fumbled for the light switch. It was so blacklike the black water Where was that switch?Just like the black water, with the orange flame flickering impossibly on top of it. Flame that couldnt be a fire, but what then ? My fingers traced the wall, still searching, still shakingSuddenly, something Jacob had told me this afternoon echoed in my head, finally sinking in She took off into the water, hed said. The bloodsuckers have the advantage there. Thats why I raced home I was afraid she was going to double back swimming.My hand froze in its searching, my whole body froze into place, as I realized why I recognized the strange orange color on the water.Victorias hair, blowing wild in the wind, the color of fireShed been right there. Right there in the harbor with me and Jacob. If Sam hadnt been there, if it had been just the two of us ? I couldnt breathe or move.The light flicked on, though my frozen hand had still not found the switch.I blinked in to the sudden light, and saw that someone was there, waiting for me.